


pirouette

by lisettedelapin



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: M/M, Oops, That's it, balletworu, dance au, kaworu gets a foot rub, make outs ensue, shinji watches kaworu dance, that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1478131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisettedelapin/pseuds/lisettedelapin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ears burning, he licks his lips, gaze darting away from Kaworu as he speaks. "I-I’ll take your slippers off."</p>
            </blockquote>





	pirouette

**Author's Note:**

> major props to [tanngnjostrs](http://tanngnjostrs.tumblr.com/) for taking loads of time to help me with all the ballet in this fic!! <3

When Shinji wakes, his stomach feels hollow; his bed is empty and the harsh lights in his dorm are burning too bright. Barely stifling a yawn, he glances to the clock on his bedside table. It’s 1am and sure enough, when he parts the curtains cloaking his window, he can spot a crescent moon cutting the pitch-black sky. Sighing, he listens to the low hum of crickets chirping in the night as he tries to ignore how the emptiness of his room jabs at his ribs in a way that is much too sharp to deal with this late in the night.

This is the third time this week he’s fallen asleep waiting up for Kaworu. At least the other times when Shinji awoke, it would be to find the lights turned off and Kaworu’s legs tangled with his own, arms tight around him and his breath fanning slow against the skin of Shinji's shoulder.

Yawning once more, he grabs blindly at the pile of clothes on his floor until he manages to take hold of what feels like a jumper. He sniffs at it before pulling it over his head and hunting for his shoes.

It’s time to go retrieve his boyfriend.

Shutting the door of his dorm room behind him, he pats the pocket of his pyjama pants to make sure he can hear the telltale jangle of his keys. He hopes Kaworu hasn’t fallen asleep in one of the studio rooms.

~

The floorboards of the Academy’s hallways creak and groan underfoot and Shinji can’t help but hold his breath. He finds himself painfully aware that he is a tap dancer and the dorms he is walking past could very well house people that are trained to hone in on the weight of one’s feet on the ground by sound alone. Luckily, he passes unnoticed; managing to spot the studio Kaworu has shut himself away in relatively quickly. The door is just barely cracked open and the lights have been left off; no one would realise unless they were looking. Shinji knows Kaworu is inside before he’s near.

He takes care to let himself inside the studio as quietly as possible, hand light on the handle as he inches the door open bit by bit. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dark but once they do it’s easy for him to make out the shape of Kaworu, spine straight as he moves away from the barre to the center of the room. Moonlight from the window falls upon his hair and settles onto the height of his cheekbone, sloping down to fall along his shoulder. Shinji’s breath catches.

 ~

It’s past 1am and his eyes are still heavy but Kaworu is so lovely right now; somehow Shinji feels it would be wrong to interrupt. So he doesn’t, choosing instead to lower himself as quietly as possible to the floor, back pressed against the wall. Is this creepy? He hopes not. He’s never seen Kaworu dance with no one around him and now he can feel himself tensing as anticipation curls tight at his limbs, sticking close to his skin and rooting him to the spot.

Eyes closed, Kaworu exhales. Shinji hears the sound as well as sees it in the shifting line of the boy’s chest. And again, he can’t fight the feeling that this is wrong of him; that he is encroaching somehow. Kaworu drags one foot in front of him as if to test the space, before bringing it back and moving so his heels are pressed and his feet are pointed away from each other in a turnout. Rolling his shoulders twice before straightening, he moves through the rest of the basic positions. He finishes with one foot in front of the other, heels aligned with toes; arms raised above his head.

If Shinji looks hard enough, he can make out the slight frown creasing Kaworu’s brows. Closely followed by the movement of his tongue darting out to wet his lips before his face relaxes and he lowers his arms.

Briefly, Shinji remembers something from a while back. Kaworu, back slumped as Shinji had laid a concerned hand on his shoulder, fingers drawing over the skin in the hope of drawing words from his mouth. Two months of dating has made him realise that Kaworu doesn’t like for people to worry about him. He only lets unease slip in the form of tired eyes, half moons in lavender on the skin under them.

“The instructor told me I look insincere when I dance; she said my movements were wooden,” he’d admitted once Shinji finally pried it out of him. Of course, the vulnerability was gone as quickly as it had come, dismissed with a shake of his head and an easy smile. “It’s fine, Shinji. I’ll just train harder.”

And Shinji knows that Kaworu doesn’t like him to worry, so he’d let the issue slide. “Well, if you ever do The Nutcracker…” he’d offered, smiling as Kaworu kissed the tip of his nose.

Watching Kaworu now, “wooden” is a word that Shinji thinks shouldn’t even exist in relation to him. He’s sliding one foot forward in a straight line, lifting his heel and pointing his toe to the floor at the end before pulling back and repeating the motion to the side and then behind him. There’s no doubt his movements are controlled, precise, but it’s all so fluid in a way that looks almost lazy to Shinji. He supposes that’s to be expected; Kaworu has no doubt worked through  _battement tendus_  countless times in the past. 

He leads his foot forward once more, this time gliding it in a slow semi-circle to his side; ending behind him, leg stretched and toes pointed. Shinji can only lean further back against the wall, watching attentively as Kaworu retraces the same arc. His foot slides like a pencil pushed by a compass, until he finishes back in fifth position, heel brushing his toes once again.

He’s pausing now, and Shinji is about to shake himself, stop being a creeper and say something to alert Kaworu to his presence but then Kaworu, knee bent, brings one leg up before extending it outwards and in front of him. His arm floats softly up at the same time, and his leg moves perfectly with it, as if drawn by a string at his wrist. Shinji shuts his mouth just as he opens it, watching enrapt as Kaworu’s leg – raised all the while – pushes through the air in a semi-circle, just as he had on the floor earlier. His arm drifts down and out to lie parallel with his leg when it’s at his side, before gliding gently in front of him as his leg straightens behind him. Somehow, he manages to gain even more height and Shinji wonders with just a touch of envy, how someone can be so flexible. But his jealousy proves weak, dying as soon as Kaworu’s torso begins to dip and Shinji’s breath catches in his throat. He can’t help but track the length of Kaworu’s leg, elongated in a perfect line. And then his ears are burning as his gaze moves down and across it, along Kaworu’s back, and  _please no, not now_ ; he’s imagining running his fingers down the delicate curve of the boy’s spine. Shinji has to press his hands harder into the coolness of the floor, squirming in place, to try and calm himself down.

Kaworu holds the pose for a moment, Shinji’s breath caught with it, until he shifts back into a regular  _arabesque_. His foot finally slides down unhurriedly before swinging swiftly through and up in a  _grand battement_  and then he’s soft again as he lifts his leg, turned out and with his knee bent 90 degrees in the  _attitude_  position. He spins like that once—twice—Shinji loses count. He moves light, joyful and Shinji’s head spins right along with him.

When he stops, foot sliding behind him for balance before he pulls it back into fifth position, Shinji notices that the rise and fall of his chest is coming quicker, the movement shallow. There’s a definite smile shaping his lips though and Shinji is grateful to see it, relaxing somehow even as the thud of his heartbeat seems to rise somewhere around his ears.

Keeping his shoulders squared, Kaworu bows his knees in a  _plié._ He pauses to calm his breath and Shinji swears he sees his smile widen before his feet are flitting across the floor in a  _glissade._ He’s barely got two feet on the ground when he’s up again, one leg extended before he’s hastily kicking up with the other, an arm curled softly inwards. He repeats the motion, claiming more space as he moves –  _glissade, brisé, glissade, brisé,_ both arms extending before one pulls back _._ After a while, Shinji loses track of the footwork, each of Kaworu’s steps registering simply in his mind as  _floating._

Just as Shinji is relaxing, heart steadying once he gets used to watching Kaworu, he’s startled again as Kaworu begins to  _really_  jump. He bounds across the room, one foot grounded as the other swings around him. His body turns with the motion before he lands the swinging foot, right as he lifts the grounded one up. And then he’s leaping, legs stretching impossibly in the air. He does a series of these, circling the room and Shinji thinks that if Kaworu was floating earlier, right now there’s no doubt that he is soaring. It’s a relief each time he hears the boy’s feet hit the floor; though he moves so ethereally, the thud of each landing – though light – is still assured. Shinji can’t help but be grateful for it, stomach twisting each time he sees Kaworu lift off the ground.

Finally, he stops, balanced effortlessly and leading into an  _arabesque_ that he holds for hardly a moment’s breadth before his foot sinks down through first, followed by fourth position. He unfurls his arms, held softly outwards before drawing one back to rest in front of him. And then he’s lowering in a  _plié_ , both arms opening as he  _pirouettes;_  closing once more as he brings his foot up to  _passé._  He twirls for what feels like forever, reminding Shinji of a spinning top as he watches dizzily.

He’s still smiling as he slows, Shinji manages to just barely catch a glimpse of his eyes, crinkled at the corners, before he’s taking quick steps and throwing himself up into a  _tour jeté._ The movement seems almost leisurely until Shinji sees Kaworu kick his front leg up, body turning abruptly with it as his other leg extends behind him and he lands cat like on one foot before the other swiftly follows, resting in fifth position. Lazy or calm or effortless are not apt descriptors; Kaworu is downright skilful, commanding each of his muscles perfectly and with undeniable focus. 

He ends in a  _plié_ in fifth position, before leading straight into a  _cabriolé,_ his legs beating clean and sharp in the air. He lands graceful as always, but his chest is visibly heaving by now, and Shinji can hear each strained breath in the almost empty space. He moves back to fifth before his foot skates out in a  _tendu;_ the movement almost jarring in its delicacy. And then he’s inhaling and spinning again, bringing one leg up into  _passé_  and Shinji worries he’s going to lose track of him through all these turns before he’s bounding into another  _jeté en manège._ His arms and legs move with such purpose through each leap, Shinji barely catches the fragment of a thought as he watches – Kaworu doesn’t just command his muscles, he commands the air around him.

He doesn’t finish in  _arabesque_ this time, instead his  _jeté_ passes into a turn before he steps forward and kicks his leg high in a  _grand battement,_ using the momentum to pitch his entire body up and spinning in the air as he does so.  It occurs to Shinji as he watches, wide-eyed and arrested to his spot, that whenever Kaworu is high off the ground, time seems to still around him –  _for_ him. It’s as if it exists as a tangible force in the air and when Kaworu pushes up, airborne, each of his movements measured even when they happen in fractions of a second; time lulls under the weight of his feet. Shinji is grinning with the realisation, proud to have figured his thoughts out however cheesy they might be. And sure enough now as he watches Kaworu spin, one foot held up in the  _retiré_ position, he feels as if everything is happening in slow motion. He’s right back to holding his breath, everything winding to static except for his heartbeat gaining speed – the sound swelling and falling against his chest.

And then everything is quickening again as Kaworu drops, his landing step rapid and leading into the  _fondu_ position naturally enough that distantly, Shinji questions whether Kaworu was ever doing anything else. He holds his pose for a moment, one knee pressed to the ground and his back still perfectly straight, breath coming ragged and uneven. Shinji is grinning now, ready to say something, anything, about how amazing that was to watch, how sorry he is for watching without permission, how many times Kaworu might be able to  _pirouette_ in one go, and all of it dies right on his lips. Kaworu all but collapses onto the floor, emitting a low grunt as he spreads flat out on the ground. It’s such a stark contrast to before that Shinji rushes right over to kneel besides him, hands tender as they sweep across the boy's back. Kaworu tenses at the touch and rolls over with a groan. He blinks owlishly up at Shinji, surprised, before his mouth is stretching into a wide, effortless smile.

“Hi,” Shinji says, a little sheepishly as Kaworu heaves an arm up so he can lay his palm to the side of Shinji’s cheek. Shinji warms under the touch, leaning into it nonetheless and feeling oddly awake, the floor seeming cooler under him.

“What are you doing here?” Kaworu asks. The words are stilted between laboured breaths, but he’s regarding Shinji with the same genuine affection he always manages; pleased smile unwavering and gentle. 

Shinji feels his cheeks heat even more, looking down as he speaks. “I-I well, uh, I kind of…” He swallows, licking his lips before something switches and he’s frowning. When he continues, his voice is tight. “It’s around 1am, you know?” He says, fixing Kaworu with a stern look.

Kaworu has the grace to look guilty. “You weren’t meant to realise I was gone so long…I didn’t want you to worry,” he murmurs, gaze flitting momentarily away from Shinji.

His hand lightens on the side of Shinji’s face before he’s beginning to pull it away. He doesn’t get far though; Shinji catches his wrist easily, moves to link their fingers before dropping their joined hands to rest on the floor. “Yeah, well, I was worried.” Kaworu seems to shrink under the words and Shinji sighs. “You’re allowed to make me worry,” he says, reaching out to softly flick Kaworu’s shoulder.

“I really am sorry,” Kaworu says, eyes widening before he finally hauls himself up, sitting cross-legged in front of Shinji. “Truly sorry,” he repeats, raising their still clasped hands to his mouth so he can brush his lips across the knuckles of Shinji’s fingers.

Shinji’s heart rate spikes, stomach twisting as he shakes his head, muttering a soft “dork” under his breath.

Kaworu just lets out an agreeable hum before he’s pulling both of them to their feet, squeezing Shinji’s hand once before letting go. “You must be sleepy; let’s go home.”

Shinji huffs, nudging Kaworu’s shoulder before speaking. “ _You_ must be sleepy he says,” fixing him with a pointed stare. He softens embarrassingly quickly though, head spinning as he realises that the meaning of  _home_ has shifted to his dorm. Come to think of it, he can’t remember the last time Kaworu slept in his own room. “Yeah, lets go home.”  
  
He allows himself to card his fingers through Kaworu’s sweat soaked hair, laying a kiss to the boy’s cheek before he begins to pull him towards the door.

“I wonder how I didn’t notice you,” Kaworu mumbles. “How long were you there?”

“You were really into it.” Inexplicably, Shinji blushes once again. He says no more as they leave the studio, taking care to shut the door as quietly as possible behind them.

~

Shinji’s dorm is as he left it; warm and sparsely furnished yet still full of clutter. It’s different though, somehow the space feels closer to being his when Kaworu is standing firmly in the midst of it. They don’t speak as Kaworu moves boneless, exhausted over to the nightstand, switching the lamp on just as Shinji turns the lights off. After ditching his shoes by the door, Shinji moves straight for the bed; fatigue settling in his muscles as the late hour finally takes its toll on him. Kaworu is already sitting there, yawning loudly as he leans down to remove his ballet slippers. Shinji catches him wincing as he runs a finger up the side of the shoe. He hisses a short breath out through his teeth and Shinji’s got his hands on Kaworu's shoulders so fast, pushing him to sit up straight, brows raised in concern.

“Are you injured?” He knows how much pressure Kaworu puts his body under. Sure, his movements are always controlled, but he’s wound so tight that the stress is something he allows to become the norm; swallowing it willingly even as he starts to bow under it.

Kaworu inclines his head to the side. His hair brushes Shinji’s hand as he looks gratefully up at him from under his lashes. “I never get injured, Shinji.”

Shinji rolls his eyes, running his hands down Kaworu’s arms before pulling away. A thought occurs to him suddenly, and then he’s blushing, heart beat quickening apprehensively as he kneels in front of Kaworu. He pulls Kaworu’s feet closer to him and the way Kaworu is now staring down curiously at him has him growing even more flustered. Ears burning, he licks his lips, gaze darting away from Kaworu as he speaks. “I-I’ll take your slippers off.”

Immediately, Kaworu is leaning down again, cupping Shinji’s face with both his hands. “That’s unnecessary,” He says; voice a whisper as he grants Shinji a small smile.

Shinji turns his head so he can press a kiss to Kaworu’s palm. His heart skips a beat when he looks to the side just in time to catch Kaworu’s eyes fluttering closed.

“You uh, you danced really beautifully before,” Shinji says, reaching up to rub the back of his neck before taking Kaworu’s feet once more.

Kaworu lets him, smiling brightly. “You really thought so?”

“Not wooden at all,” Shinji says softly. He slips a finger under the elastic of one of the shoes, brushing his fingers over the skin. “You were…yeah, you were seriously beautiful.” He doesn’t look away from Kaworu’s feet as he says it, not until he hears him laugh a little breathlessly.

“It felt good that time. It felt similar to how you look when you dance.” Kaworu reaches down again to brush the back of his hand along Shinji’s cheekbone. He doesn’t protest as Shinji peels one slipper off, instead letting out a tiny sigh as Shinji’s fingers slide along the side of his foot.

Shinji chuckles. “So it felt like you wanted to murder the floor?” He says, moving to pull the other slipper off.

Brows knitted, Kaworu shakes his head. “Shinji, your dancing is more than that. You are…you are emotional when you dance.” He moves his hand to tilt Shinji’s chin up. “It’s as if your feelings are what move you.”

Shinji smiles only a touch sourly. “It’s okay, Kaworu. I look furious when I dance, I know,” he says.

 “You look  _passionate_ when you dance.”

Shinji raises an eyebrow. “Okay, okay, this isn’t about me anyway,” He says, shaking his head. He runs his hands down the soles of both of Kaworu’s feet, smiling as Kaworu twitches at the touch, and scoots in closer so he can prop them up against his knees.

When he looks down, his breath catches. “God, Kaworu.” The words come shaky, strained thanks to his tightening lungs. His chest aches and he finds himself extremely grateful that Kaworu doesn’t get self conscious about his looks.

Because for as pretty as Kaworu’s face is, however smooth his voice is and the grace in which he moves, his feet are completely mangled. There are places where his skin has toughened, calluses forming to protect him; to help him adapt to the strain he puts his feet though. And there are others where his skin stretches thin, rubbed raw and ready to break. Shinji’s heart feels oddly weighty, fragile, when he spots a reopened cut.  

“Kaworu—“ He pauses, finds he doesn’t have the words he wants and settles for looking up at him, expression grim.

Kaworu smiles ruefully, avoiding his gaze. “It isn’t anything to feel troubled over.”

With a frustrated sigh, Shinji stands. He makes sure to kiss Kaworu’s knee on his way up. “You’re being silly.” He says, turning to rifle through the drawers of their nightstand. Finally, he manages to locate a pack of band-aids. They’re the ones with the singing dogs printed over them and as Shinji remembers how excited Kaworu had been to see them in the shop; he can’t help but smile fondly. He’s quick to kneel back down in front of Kaworu, all business as he peels apart the bandaid and smooths it over the cut.

Kaworu opens his mouth and Shinji cuts him off before he gets the words out; “Just let me do this, okay?”

Kaworu promptly closes his mouth, nodding and passing his fingers through Shinji’s hair.

“I’m not going to sleep until I see that you’re sleeping for at least the next week,” Shinji says.

“But then you would lose sleep.”  
  
“Exactly,” Shinji says, frowning through his blush. “So, you’ve got no choice. I guess you’ll have to rest up.”

“Shinji, the instructor said my dancing was—“

“Think what she’ll say about your dancing if you injure yourself.”

Kaworu sniffs. “Yeah…”

Shinji can’t help but laugh softly at the easy response. “Yeah,” he repeats, squeezing Kaworu’s feet gently.

He makes sure to keep his touch light, wary of accidentally pressing a sore spot. Kaworu shivers as Shinji's fingers graze over his ankle.  

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Have you ever gotten a foot rub?”

Kaworu shakes his head.

“They’re nice,” Shinji says simply, hoping to god that he doesn’t mess this up.

Kaworu regards him curiously, cocking his head before cracking the joints of his toes experimentally. He doesn’t pull away as Shinji slides his hands down to grip the middle of his feet. He hums thoughtfully and Shinji smiles at the sound.

“I’ve never really given one before so tell me if anything hurts.”

Kaworu nods, brushes his fingers over Shinji’s lips. Shinji’s smile widens slightly under the touch and Kaworu grins with him. “Alright,” he says. “But only for a little while.”

Shinji doesn’t respond, instead looking back down at Kaworu’s feet and trying to figure out what on earth he’s supposed to do. Tentatively, he bends one foot up so the sole is facing him before dragging his fingers down to rest on the centre of Kaworu’s arch. Kaworu actually  _giggles,_ ticklish apparently, before the sound is cut off by a quiet gasp as Shinji begins to rub slow circles into his skin.

“ _O-oh,_ that is nice.”  
  
Shinji frowns, the thumb of one hand moving clockwise as the other moves counter-clockwise, Kaworu seeming to melt further under the touch. After about twenty seconds, he begins to move up, squeezing Kaworu’s crooked toes one by one before pressing gentle circles into the skin beneath them.

“Still good?” He looks up briefly to see Kaworu with his eyes closed, mouth parted slightly. As Shinji's finger skates light over a callus on Kaworu’s big toe, his eyes flick open; the red is startling for a moment before bleeding right back into being comfortably familiar.

He nods at Shinji, cheeks slightly flushed. And Shinji smiles warmly before refocusing on the task at hand. He moves slowly down the sole of Kaworu’s foot, kneading gently. He has to bite back a grin when he reaches the middle of his sole once more, eliciting a hushed groan from the boy. He applies more pressure as he moves down, hands coming to close gently around Kaworu’s heel before sliding up so he’s cupping Kaworu’s ankle.

Kaworu sighs. “If you could just ah, my ankle is a little sore.” His voice is dazed, speech lazy and when Shinji looks up at him he feels like he’s forcing himself when he looks back down. He lightens his touch though, fingers drawing softly over the boy's Achilles tendon.

Finally he moves on to Kaworu’s other foot, repeating the entire process once more. Kaworu is visibly more relaxed now, shoulders slumped and his eyes half-lidded. His breathing has deepened, the sound slow and rhythmic and so calming that Shinji feels his own lids begin to droop.

Once he’s finished, hands coming to rest flat on both of Kaworu’s feet, he doesn’t move for a moment. Kaworu watches him, blinking blearily but otherwise too lazy to speak. Shinji’s thumbs rub idly into Kaworu’s skin as he thinks.

It seems like the natural thing to do, but still, Shinji is oddly shy when he leans down whilst lifting Kaworu’s foot up, skimming his lips over the slope of it. Kaworu’s breath hitches and blinking, Shinji looks up, searching for validation. He finds it in Kaworu’s brows, curved up, the upwards twitch of the corners of his lips and his eyes, soft as he watches Shinji.

So Shinji keeps going, raining light kisses over Kaworu’s skin, smiling whenever he hits a ticklish spot and he feels Kaworu jump, toes wriggling. He finds a stray spot of talcum powder, touches his lips to it before rubbing it into Kaworu’s skin; fingers feather light. His nose skims the jut of Kaworu’s ankle, eyelashes coming to drop against his cheek and Kaworu whimpers softly.

“As nice as this feels I think I’d prefer it if you were back up here,” Kaworu says. And when Shinji looks up, Kaworu is leaning down. He can see the laugh lines creasing the skin by Kaworu's eyes.

Smiling, Shinji shakes his head. He sits up straight for a moment, still on his knees but high enough to press his lips to the space where the base of Kaworu’s throat dips into where his collarbones meet. And then he’s dropping down again, laughing as Kaworu's hands flutter over thin air.

“ _Rub._ You said a foot  _rub._ That part appears to be over.”

Shinji shushes him, rolling his leggings up to rest above his knees. He starts back at Kaworu’s ankle, grazes his lips over and past it till he’s mid calf and he pulls away slightly. Kaworu’s breath is short again and now when Shinji runs his hand up the wiry muscles of Kaworu’s leg, his stomach twists. It’s a heady sense of power, he realises, as Kaworu shivers when he leans back in to ghost his lips up to the boy’s knee, hand pressing gently into his calf.  
  
He shifts, turning his head to reach the back of Kaworu’s knee. He keeps his lips there longer and then he’s grazing teeth experimentally over the thin skin.   
  
Kaworu jumps, before melting again, a low whine seeming to come from somewhere in his throat and Shinji thinks he’s blushing right down to his toes at the sound.

“Oh my god,” he mumbles, voice wavering before Kaworu is pulling him up and towards him, craning his neck to brush his lips against Shinji’s.

Shinji smiles into the kiss, feeling his ears burn as he reaches around to hold Kaworu’s face. His lips are cool, soft and Shinji bows to the gentle pressure like it’s second nature. He’s brushing his thumbs over Kaworu’s cheekbones when he pulls away with a ridiculous squeak as Kaworu tugs him forward, over him and onto the bed. The mattress creaks under their weight and Kaworu, still smiling, leans up to smooth a kiss over the spot where Shinji’s jaw meets his ear. Shinji has to take a moment to catch his breath before he’s rearranging himself so his knees are on either side of Kaworu, hands against his chest. He allows himself two seconds to look at Kaworu; his cheeks are flushed, fluffy hair mussed, and he’s so undeniably happy that Shinji feels his heartbeat soar, warmth settling under the stretches of his skin. And then he’s groaning, frantic now, as he leans down to crush his lips against Kaworu’s. Their noses clash awkwardly once, twice before finally, they settle against each other, their movements melting together.

When Shinji feels Kaworu’s tongue swipe over his bottom lip, his head rushes, hips rolling against Kaworu’s and then he’s swallowing Kaworu’s gasps, kissing him desperate and searching. Kaworu wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer and their bodies move so torturously languid against each other that Shinji has to pull back, mouth parting on a soft moan. Kaworu is breathless, running his teeth in the lightest of touches up the column of Shinji’s neck, hands trembling at the hem of his shirt. Shinji has to push him down, groaning low as he rolls over onto his stomach besides Kaworu. His breath comes short into the fabric of his pillow.

“I-It’s really late.” He manages.

Kaworu scoots in close to him.

“Class. We have…we have class.” After a moment, Shinji turns on his side. Kaworu’s pupils are blown and his lips are swollen and Shinji, groaning once more, has to press a hand over the boy’s face.

“What are you doing?” Kaworu manages, voice muffled around the skin of Shinji’s hand.

“ _Class._ We have classes. And um, your face looks nice.”

Kaworu hums and Shinji blushes, feeling Kaworu's lips part against his palm. Hesitantly, he pulls his hand back. Kaworu is staring at him, eyebrows raised, expression vaguely amused.

Shinji looks away again, only peeking at Kaworu once his breathing has evened. “Tomorrow?” He asks, voice hopeful.

Kaworu nods. “I won’t sneak out to train. We’ll have time.”

Grinning, Shinji gathers Kaworu to him, shifting until his chin is settled softly atop Kaworu’s head. “Good.”

Kaworu nuzzles Shinji’s throat, squirming against him until they’re sharing as much warmth as possible before finally closing his eyes. Shinji sighs, brushing his lips against Kaworu’s hair and willing sleep to come so it can be tomorrow night faster. Kaworu falls asleep in barely five minutes and even while praying for his hormones to calm down, Shinji finds it within himself to be pleased. His heartbeat is soft, assured and it’s with all his might that he hopes it’s the same for Kaworu.

 

__

**Author's Note:**

> WHY IS THIS SO LONG


End file.
